so here is my long random ass vent about whats been going on that just NEEDS to get out!! hahaha
so my man and i dont have the best relationship, ill be the first to admit it. we kinda like to screw each other since we started dating and its just been a vicious cycle. (were putting a stop to it.) i was a little suspicious about a new girl that had been allll over his facebook so i was trying to see if i should be concerned or let it go. i saw that he had messaged her when he got to afgan and a few times before but this one had hearts and he couldnt wait to see her blah blah puke. he just got deployed and its really hard to talk (duuh haha) so i talked to his best friend told me "karma is a fickle thing" when i asked if anything was going so yea i pretty much knew something was up. i was sooo upset. i didnt feel like i could talk to anyone because our situation is one nobody understands. i had kirstin come over and she deffenetly helped. but i was a mess, i couldnt eat, sleep and barely breathe. she spent like 4 days over spending the night and listening to me being pathetic haha, butt i love her for being there for me and supporting me. i was trying to hide it all from my mom (cause she likes to dictate my life and what i do alll the time) but i was watching TV and a coming home comertial came on and i lost it. so now she knew... the next two days were a bash fest about dakota for her. she was talking so much bad stuff about him and i was getting sick of it. she told me we were done. i was never allowed to see or hear from him ever again and we werent dating. im sorry, i thought i turned 19 on my last birthday? i guess that means she still runs my life.
i woke up the next morning to my first call. i was half asleep, angry. upset, frustrated, excited to hear from him, sooo many emotions came over me at one moment and i had to get the story straight from him. five minuets into the conversation my mother came in the room screaming at me that im done with him, im stupid, worthless, hang up the phone or shed shut it off so i kinda had to. after a looong ass lecture of her telling me i wasnt to ever talk to him, shed be checking my phone bill (im on her plan) and that i wasnt allowed to write him -- she left for work. he called back right after that and explained everything that went on (which is why were still together, he came clean about it and was honest in the end)
well everythings been getting better, its been a few weeks and my mom checked the phone bill friday night. i came home from work and she was telling me again im stupid, shes always right about all my relationships and seams to think this is allll about me choosing him over her.. WHICH IS NOT THE CASE!! i told her i needed the chance to mess up, let me feel how badly it hurts that way i know in my own experiences to never do this again. and plus, whenever you tell a teenager NOT to do something, that makes them want to go and do it anyways. She told me to pack my stuff and i wasnt staying there. she told me to change my address on my lience and at school and work, called to have my phone turned off, kept the car and the laptop she bought me for christmas a few years ago. this is the one time im soo glad for my parents divorce so at 1am after i packed my stuff, i took what i could carry, and my dog and walked across town to my dads. my dad lives in the shittiest conditions, no oven, food lying around for weeks, and just stuff everywhere. but its only until november. he just doesnt have a car there for me yet but im working on it..
my boyfriend felt sooo bad and suprised that i finally stood up to my mom, ive never been fully independent but im trying. weve been talking about getting married next july but since this happened he wants to move it to right after deployment(((((: i may have to take a sememster or more off of school, get money and a car and then ill go back (or do psu world on the beach in hawaiiiiii ) everythings looking better, im in the oprocess of cleaning the attic for myself and my blake and getting appliances and such so its livable.
SORRY it was so long.. this has all been happeneing over a few weeks now and i finally got a computer to write it all out and im sick of everyone telling me how to go about my relationships and judging me and what nottttt. ive had like next to no support except from a few people and im more than greatful for them and all there help<3333
so my man and i dont have the best relationship, ill be the first to admit it. we kinda like to screw each other since we started dating and its just been a vicious cycle. (were putting a stop to it.) i was a little suspicious about a new girl that had been allll over his facebook so i was trying to see if i should be concerned or let it go. i saw that he had messaged her when he got to afgan and a few times before but this one had hearts and he couldnt wait to see her blah blah puke. he just got deployed and its really hard to talk (duuh haha) so i talked to his best friend told me "karma is a fickle thing" when i asked if anything was going so yea i pretty much knew something was up. i was sooo upset. i didnt feel like i could talk to anyone because our situation is one nobody understands. i had kirstin come over and she deffenetly helped. but i was a mess, i couldnt eat, sleep and barely breathe. she spent like 4 days over spending the night and listening to me being pathetic haha, butt i love her for being there for me and supporting me. i was trying to hide it all from my mom (cause she likes to dictate my life and what i do alll the time) but i was watching TV and a coming home comertial came on and i lost it. so now she knew... the next two days were a bash fest about dakota for her. she was talking so much bad stuff about him and i was getting sick of it. she told me we were done. i was never allowed to see or hear from him ever again and we werent dating. im sorry, i thought i turned 19 on my last birthday? i guess that means she still runs my life.
i woke up the next morning to my first call. i was half asleep, angry. upset, frustrated, excited to hear from him, sooo many emotions came over me at one moment and i had to get the story straight from him. five minuets into the conversation my mother came in the room screaming at me that im done with him, im stupid, worthless, hang up the phone or shed shut it off so i kinda had to. after a looong ass lecture of her telling me i wasnt to ever talk to him, shed be checking my phone bill (im on her plan) and that i wasnt allowed to write him -- she left for work. he called back right after that and explained everything that went on (which is why were still together, he came clean about it and was honest in the end)
well everythings been getting better, its been a few weeks and my mom checked the phone bill friday night. i came home from work and she was telling me again im stupid, shes always right about all my relationships and seams to think this is allll about me choosing him over her.. WHICH IS NOT THE CASE!! i told her i needed the chance to mess up, let me feel how badly it hurts that way i know in my own experiences to never do this again. and plus, whenever you tell a teenager NOT to do something, that makes them want to go and do it anyways. She told me to pack my stuff and i wasnt staying there. she told me to change my address on my lience and at school and work, called to have my phone turned off, kept the car and the laptop she bought me for christmas a few years ago. this is the one time im soo glad for my parents divorce so at 1am after i packed my stuff, i took what i could carry, and my dog and walked across town to my dads. my dad lives in the shittiest conditions, no oven, food lying around for weeks, and just stuff everywhere. but its only until november. he just doesnt have a car there for me yet but im working on it..
my boyfriend felt sooo bad and suprised that i finally stood up to my mom, ive never been fully independent but im trying. weve been talking about getting married next july but since this happened he wants to move it to right after deployment(((((: i may have to take a sememster or more off of school, get money and a car and then ill go back (or do psu world on the beach in hawaiiiiii ) everythings looking better, im in the oprocess of cleaning the attic for myself and my blake and getting appliances and such so its livable.
SORRY it was so long.. this has all been happeneing over a few weeks now and i finally got a computer to write it all out and im sick of everyone telling me how to go about my relationships and judging me and what nottttt. ive had like next to no support except from a few people and im more than greatful for them and all there help<3333